I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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