porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
