Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
