At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize