people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
