but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
