Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Randomize
