Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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