so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
