I'm drive I can fine osifer
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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