Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
