You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
