Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
