I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
