batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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