well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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