I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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