She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
