Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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