HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
