he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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