Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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