its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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