doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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