There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize