I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Less talking, more tequila
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
