So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize