in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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