Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
