I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Randomize