wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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