I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
