Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Someone shattered a urinal.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
