listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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