I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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