are you still at the devil's house?
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
