Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
