drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
