dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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