I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
