we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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