Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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