K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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