I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Randomize