Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
