i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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