do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
