Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
