Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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