I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize