he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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