So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
