I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
