She is in my trunk
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
