He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize