My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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