My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
